![]() ![]() I felt so far away from everything and everyone I knew. And although I deliberately chose to leave Chicago, I could not shake the shock and unease that came with learning another city’s sound. I could not bring myself to hold a conversation with anyone for longer than five seconds, and I was convinced that if the people I loved knew what I was dealing with on the inside, it would somehow persuade them to love me less, inadvertently making me love me less. People always joke that us Black folk from Chicago are just Mississippians in coats, and living in Massachusetts forced me to reckon with my own demons and the feeling that somehow I was living on borrowed time because of my deteriorating mental health. What the admissions office, my mama and everyone else did not know was that I was running away from a city that had the same cadence as my cousin’s voice. His words - “I’m really proud of you” and “You’re my motivation” - reverberated inside my head.Ī few months before I received that message, I moved to Wellesley, Mass., to pursue a bachelor’s degree in Africana studies. ![]() And days spent wandering around Powell’s Books after grabbing catfish nuggets soaked in lemon pepper from J&J Fish and Chicken. My cousin’s voice reminded me of walking down 53rd Street, eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos soaked in melted nacho cheese as sweat dripped down our backs. But I did not realize what a trove my inbox had become until that day. ![]() Antiquated and annoying, it can easily be ignored and take up too much phone storage and is a hassle if you happen to have a long-winded relative most of us have all but abandoned it in favor of more instantaneous connections. We were kids walking through Hyde Park, dreaming about everything we wanted to do, and you down there making it happen. I talked to my mom, she told me you are out there doing yo thang. His Chicago accent was so thick that I had to replay it a few times: Aye cuz, answer yo phone, he said. My cousin left this message for me three months into my freshman year of college. ![]()
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